Everything seems different, yet everything seems the same. I'm sitting in my office early Saturday afternoon, trying to feel how this time and place is any different from how it was, say, three months ago. And how I feel is pretty much the same. Although everything on the outside is different.
I'm limping along, as it were, toward my growing comfort in/with my new life. Often, it seems, my attitude can change one way or the other in a mere second. In fits and starts I am getting back into the artmaking groove. At some level, though, I still feel really unorganized. I think it's that I'm still trying to get some sense of a Vision for my art and my life. I do know it's about bringing beauty into the world, in a general sense, and in pretty much everything I do. But that is such an amorphous context to be operating within, in terms of a direction, that it is difficult for me to grasp.
I've been finding myself really tired a lot, and sleeping as much as I can and whenever I can. That still doesn't amount to more than 7 or 8 hours at night, and often a nap in the afternoon. But it's this deep tiredness that I can't shake.
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